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Post by Free on Jan 13, 2021 0:02:54 GMT -5
It was just before lunch when Desiree’s secretary, Daniel, told her that her father’s secretary, Mimi, had told him that Mr. Storm wanted to see her in his office. The message followed the typical chain of command this time, but Desiree had a feeling it wouldn’t be good news. She could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d formally requested her presence in his office.
Maybe missing Monday after seven months of a less than stellar attendance record had finally caught up with her. She found it hard to believe though. Growing up, she’d gotten away with murder. It was convenient when her father blamed his own absence and her mother leaving for everything Desiree did wrong. And that was only the stuff he knew about.
She leaned back in her chair and stared at the ceiling. She considered going to lunch first, making him wait, but Rayburn didn’t do waiting anymore than she did. And she figured it was in her best interest to earn a few points back.
When she opened the door to his office, she was surprised to see an empty desk. She had her hand on the cool doorknob, pulling it toward her before she realized he was standing by the window.
Not a good sign.
She closed the door behind her and walked toward him with perfect posture, shoulders squared.
He finally turned and stood there for a moment, looking at her. She wasn’t sure what he saw in her. The little girl she used to be? Pieces of her mom? Perhaps the disappointment she’d become?
“You missed the meeting,” he said.
What meeting? With her signature stoic expression intact, she searched her memory for a meeting, obviously an important one, and found nothing.
“I told you I wanted you there,” he said. There was a warning in his tone only people who knew him would hear.
No, you didn’t. The only responses she could think of were things that wouldn’t go over well. Like how she wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. How if that’s what this was, let’s pretend he’d already given it and save ourselves the time. How she had things to do. He knew that. What he didn’t know was that she was here, despite the growing feeling that she’d rather be doing something else, anything else. That maybe she’d be doing that now, if she could figure out what that was.
"The merger negotiations didn't go well. They somehow got wind of some privileged information." He shook his head.
“What do you want me to say?”
He sighed. Shook his head again. Took three steps toward her and stopped.
“Desiree, I have been trying to be understanding. You’re obviously going through something—“
“I’m fine.”
“Don’t interrupt me.” He paused, like he was waiting for her to challenge him on that, then continued, “But I have a business to run. Business can’t function when one of their chief executives can’t be counted on.”
Desiree held her breath. There was no way he’d fired her. Not that it would matter. Maybe she didn’t care what he did.
“I can’t leave you the company if you can’t commit to running it effectively.”
“So you’re giving it to Ace?” Ice ran through her veins. She’d been right.
“I’m considering it.” He took another step toward her. “I want you to share it. I always have. But I can’t give it to someone not committed to it, someone who will let my legacy burn to the ground.”
She refused to take the comment personally. She refused to let it touch her. This wasn’t about her or Ace. This was about something he didn’t understand.
“So I’ve decided until you can prove you’re committed to this company, I’m demoting you.”
Desiree laughed.
“I’m seriously, Desiree. You will report to Hudson directly after lunch. He is now your boss.”
“Absolutely not.”
“It’s not up for discussion.” His crossed his arms.
“Absolutely not.”
“Desiree—”
"I'm not a child. I don't need a babysitter." She copied his stance.
He opened his mouth, then closed it again, clearly reconsidering whatever he'd been about to say.
"I have to look out for the best interests of this company. A lot of people are depending on me. Not everyone is as fortunate as we are," he said. "Hudson is expecting you at 1:30."
“And if I don’t show up?”
“I’m at the end of my rope. If you don’t start pulling your weight around here, doing your job your brother will inherit Storm Enterprises.”
“Funny. Too bad I already own 25% of the company.” She kept her shock on a short leash. Never in her wildly dreams, did she think her dad would ever disinherit her. When Ace had come back, she’d wondered, sure. But that’s a lot different than it actually happening.
“Ace will still have controlling interest. Is that what you want?”
There was no answer for that. She turned and walked out of the room.
~~~
“You’re half an hour late,” Hudson said, pulling the phone out of her hands and forcing her to look at him.
“Do you have any idea who I am?” Desiree lifted her chin.
Hudson laughed. “This is going to fun.”
Her phone clattered back onto her desk.
“You will show up on time tomorrow. You will ask me before taking time off. Don’t ask. Your time off is currently suspended. I will write you up if you fail to meet expectations and I should think you’re familiar with our termination policy.”
He leaned back, smiling at her. It was infuriating. Nobody. Nobody. Nobody talked her like that. This was a temporary arrangement and he was holding his own future in his hands.
She stood and moved toward him. “That’s a pretty aggressive approach to take with the future owner of this company.”
“We’ll see.”
Oh, we'll see alright.
"You realize this all temporary and I hold grudges," Desiree said, the smile on her face now.
"No need to shoot the messenger. Besides, I'm doing a favor. You should be thanking me."
"For?"
"Saving your job, the company. You're welcome." His tone was condescending.
She hate it. She hated him.
"You're fired."
"You don't have that power anymore. Should've done that earlier. Anyway, get back to work. I've got things to do and I don't have the time to micromanage anyone." He walked away. When he reached the door, he paused, “Oh, and Desiree, piss me off and I’ll assign you the most boring thing I can think of.”
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Post by Free on Jan 14, 2021 2:56:30 GMT -5
Desiree gripped the steeling wheel until her fingers turned white. She stared blankly at the road ahead of her, her mind volleying between the conversation with her dad and the conversation with Hudson. It was beyond humiliating. She wasn't a child. How dare he treat her like one. She was tempted to quit. For all his show of power earlier, she knew her dad didn't want her to leave the company. No, if he wanted her gone, she would be. Why did he care so much what she did all of a sudden?
Blair was seated at booth when Desiree walked into the restaurant. She was already regretting agreeing to go out tonight. She wasn't in the mood to see people. She was in the mood to shoot something, preferably, something alive. She also wasn't in the mood for once to pretend like her world wasn't spinning out of control.
She threw her purse across from Blair and dropped into the seat. She grabbed Blair's wine glass and drained it.
"I've had the worst possible day," Blair said, motioning to someone behind Desiree.
"Doubt it." Desiree was tempted to add Nothing could be worse than being demoted and assigned a babysitter by your own father.
"b*tch, you haven't even heard my side of it."
"Don't need to." Desiree down the glass and surveyed the restaurant.
"My guys broke up with me today." Blair swirled the last drop of wine in her glass with a sniff.
"I thought you were only short of dating them."
The waiter arrived and they both ordered drinks, with the understanding that their glasses should never be empty. Blair ordered them salads as a starter.
"I can order my own food," Desiree growled.
"Oh my god! You can go first!"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine, then shut up and listen." Blair placed both hands on the table. "I was only short of dating them. So I don't care that it's over. I care that they found out about each other and broke up with me. I was supposed to break up with them."
"You should like you're in high school." Desiree rolled her eyes.
"And I told you to shut up. You have no right to criticize my lifestyle choices."
Desiree couldn't read the expression on Blair's face, but it wasn't anger. Desiree laughed.
"I can top that," Desiree said, taking a big sip of the wine that had finally arrived.
"I wasn't done with my story. But let's make this interesting. Whoever's life was most tragic today gets to dare the other to do something. But none of that pansy-ass kiss-the-waiter sh*t. Something good."
"Done." There was no way Desiree was losing this. She was holding a straight flush. What should she dare Blair to do?
"Great! Now, back to my story. So, the two remaining guys in what used to be a beautifully balanced love pentagon has been reduced to a line."
"Pentagon?"
"I had to replace Paul."
"With two people?"
"Yep."
“In two days?”
Blair rolled her eyes.
"Your life is way more complicated than it needs to be,” Desiree said, gulping down more of her drink.
"And so much fun! Usually." She affected a serious expression. "So it turns out, the two new guys are friends with the other two I was already dating and we all ran into each other at Stadium. That's the downside of dating people who can actually afford to take me places I like to go. We were all in the same box. It was really fun at first. I got to pretending I was actress in a sitcom. Then, it all fell apart. They were maaad." Blair took a long sip.
"That it?" Desiree smirked.
"You wish." Blair winked at Desiree.
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Post by Free on Jan 18, 2021 2:02:32 GMT -5
”Anyway, I obviously wasn’t dating the second two very long but apparently finding out I’m dating four people at one time was a huge turn off for them.” Blair shrugged.
“Can’t imagine why.” Desiree snickered.
“I know. Guys are such chicks!”
“They are.”
They laughed, shook their heads, took another drink.
Desiree waited for Blair to continue, but Blair just played with her straw.
“That it?” Desiree asked.
“Blitz is dead,” Blair said quietly.
“What?”
“My Superleggera,” Blair growled. “She’s dead.”
“I take it she’s your favorite?”
“Yes.” Blair set her head down on the table. They had a moment of silence for Blitz.
“Are you getting a new one?”
“Shh! She can hear you!”
“What?”
“The body’s barely cold, Dez. Have some respect.”
Desiree rolled her eyes again. She loved her car, but wasn’t sure she’d be that devastated if she crashed it.
“What happened?” Desiree asked, not because she actually cared but because this car obviously meant something to Blair.
Blair waved her hand at Desiree. “It doesn’t matter. She’s gone.”
“Okaaaay.”
“You don’t get it.” Blair dropped her head into her arms on the table.
“There’s an easy solution for that.”
Blair sniffed for a moment, then lifted her head to meet Desiree’s eyes. “My dad bought me that car...right before...” Blair’s entire demeanor instantly transformed back to happy. “Anyway, what’s your news?”
“You’re really going to let me win that easily?” Desiree shook her head.
Blair clenched her jaw, glanced at her waiter who replaced her empty glass with a fresh one, leaving Desiree wondering if perhaps she went too easily servers.
“My dad died, okay? It was the last thing he gave me before he died.”
“Oh...That sucks about your car.” Desiree didn’t know what to say. This was the part in Logan’s story where she’d said me too. But right now she didn’t feel like saying anything.
"It was inevitable," Blair said with a shrug that Desiree didn't think she meant.
“You win," Desiree said.
“No way. It’s your turn!” Blair winked at Desiree.
“Fine. I work at Storm Enterprises. My father owns majority share. I own 25%. Yet, in the most humiliating fashion, I was demoted today... To Hudson’s assistant.” Desiree held Blair’s gaze, daring her laugh.
Blair started rifling through her purse.
“What are you looking for?”
“Cream. For that burn.” Blair laughed. “Is Hudson hot? He sounds hot.”
Desiree rolled her eyes. “That’s not the point.”
“No, but you have to admit, if it happened to someone else, like Claire, you’d totally be on the floor laughing!”
Desiree couldn’t argue with that. “How do we decide who wins?”
“Lost an priceless treasure or was royally humiliated by her dad. It’s not much of a contest.”
“So you agree I win?”
“No, b*tch! We need an impartial judge. Let’s call Noah! He’s practically a judge!”
Desiree frowned. “How is Noah impartial? You guys are best friends.”
“Fine, we can call one of yours too.” Blair shrugged.
Desiree hesitated. She didn’t want to admit there wasn’t anyone to call.
“What about Jase? He seems cool and very impartial,” Blair said with a smirk.
“You just want him because he’s technically my friend,” Are we...friends? “But he flirted with you.”
Blair laughed. “Obviously.”
“Obviously.” Desiree rolled her eyes. “Call Noah. Tell him his integrity is on the line and he’ll never make Supreme Court judge if he makes a bad call on important matters like this!”
They both laughed.
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Post by Free on Jan 20, 2021 22:34:51 GMT -5
“My b*tches!” Noah said, sliding in next to Blair. “So what am I doing here? Blair’s text was vague.”
“Noah!” Blair looped her arm through his and squeezed close to him.
“It’s a bet. We need a judge,” Desiree said. “Your integrity is on the line.”
“Why is it always my integrity? Why can’t anyone go after—wait. No. I promised—“
“Bored!” Blair interjected.
“So what’s the bet?” Noah asked, “And why wasn’t invited to play?”
Blair filled Noah in on the bet. Desiree added her joke about his future career depending on it.
“Why can’t I join again?” Noah whined.
“Did you have a bad day?” Blair asked in a condescending tone.
“No, I was at work.”
“Exactly.”
Noah rolls his eyes. “That’s racist.”
“Nice try.” Blair laughs.
“If I’m judging, I get to help the winner punish the loser.” Noah waved to a server walk by the table, who was most definitely not their server, and gave her his drink order.
“That sounds like a conflict of interest,” Desiree said.
“Oh, it most definitely is,” Noah said with a wide smile. “That’s half the fun.”
“How do I know you aren’t going to automatically side with Blair?” Desiree asked.
“Did you hear her? She’s after my integrity again!” Noah nudged Blair. Looking to Desiree, he said, “Keep it in your pants. I’m in a relationship.”
Desiree laughed.
“Besides, how do you know I haven’t be looking for an opportunity to humiliate Blair?”
“Well, he basically confessed to plotting against me, so it looks like you win, Dez.” Blair laughed.
“I make no promises until you present your cases. I have to at least give the illusion of impartiality, like all good judges.” Noah grabbed Blair’s drink.
Blair filled Noah in on her tragedy.
“This better be good,” Noah said, looking to Desiree, “That’s gonna be tough to beat.”
When Desiree had filled him on her humiliatingly awful day, with more details this time about what an ass Hudson was, Noah stroked his chin in an exaggerated fashion.
“Well?” Blair demand.
“If my entire career is riding on this, I need to carefully consider both arguments and I also need my drink. When is that waiter coming back?”
“That wasn’t our waiter…” Blair laughed.
Noah shrugged. “As long as I get my drink, I don’t care who’s serving it.”
“You’re milking this,” Desiree said.
“Obviously,” Noah winked at her.
Someone set Noah’s drink in the middle of the table.
“Finally! Also, that was mine!” Noah called after the server.
Blair laughed.
“He’s going to spit in your next drink,” Desiree said with a smirk.
“Not if he wants a good tip.”
“Tell us!!” Blair gave him a shove.
“You both made strong arguments,” Noah said, lifting his drink to his lips in what appeared to be slow motion. He took his time sipping the bright orange beverage.
“Oh my god, Noah!”
Noah smiled and set his drink on the table.
“I’m going to have to give this one to Blair,” he said.
"I demand a retrial. We need a less biased judge," Desiree said, feigned indignation.
“Dead dad card.” He shrugged.
“Moving forward, at least I know you can’t be trusted."
"Ooo. Desiree's a sore loser," Blair said.
“Whatever. What do you want me to do?” Desiree asked.
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Post by Free on Feb 13, 2021 0:53:49 GMT -5
Desiree held her chin high and walked with an extra level of confidence through security. One of the security guards eyed her for a moment and opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but must have decided against it because he closed it almost immediately.. She smirked. Apparently owning the company still had some advantages, even with her new humiliating job.
In fairness to the security team, everyone was staring as Desiree strode onto the elevator and took it up to her office. Her smile grew as the elevator rose. She tried to force the usual neutral expression to her lips, but it was all she could do not to laugh. Blair was good. This dare was epic.
Desiree stopped by Hudson’s desk on her way to her own office.
He was bent over his computer, muttering to himself when she walked up.
“I’m on time,” Desiree sang.
“Good for you. Get to work,” Hudson said, continuing to stare at his screen.
Desiree cleared her throat and he finally looked over at her. His mouth dropped open. He was quiet for a beat.
“If this is your way of getting back at me for making you do your job, you’ve succeeded. Consider yourself written up. We have a dress code.” Hudson returned to his computer screen, but Desiree noted the red creeping up his neck. She was getting to him.
“I know our dress code backwards and forwards and it says nothing about this.” Desiree laughed as she walked back toward her office.
When she opened her door, Blair was already sitting at her desk.
“What are you doing in here?” Desiree glanced around. “How did you get past security?”
“Making sure you didn’t chicken out. Damn. You’ve got balls, Dez! Not just anyone could walk through a crowded building full of people she knows butt ass naked.” Blair laughed.
Desiree laughed too.
Blair threw some clothes at Desiree. “Your winnings!”
“Thanks.” Desiree rolled her eyes. “I’ve got hand it to you. This dare was epic.”
“Right?! I’m so glad I got to witness it!” Blair leaned forward, her face lit. “Noah’s gonna be so jealous. He wanted to come too, but he’s got court or something.”
“Priorities.” Desiree dressed quickly. “Now, I’ve got to start working before that slave driver walks in here with–”
“You did not just say that.” Blair narrowed her eyes.
“What?”
“Slave driver? Like my people haven’t suffered enough.” After an awkward moment of silence, Blair laughed. “I’m messing with you, god!”
Desiree rolled her eyes. “Get out of my chair.”
“I was just leaving anyway!” Blair sang out loudly as she bounced toward the door. “Have a good day working for the man, Bitch!”
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Post by Free on Mar 13, 2021 17:21:39 GMT -5
“Desiree, tell me I heard Hudson incorrectly.” Her father stood behind his desk, his arms folded across his chest. “Tell me you didn’t walk into this building naked. This is a place of business.”
“I didn’t walk into this building naked,” she said, both her face and tone serious.
“Is this joke to you?” Her father’s face was red and he had both hands firmly planted on the desk in front of him as he leaned toward Desiree. “ Was I not clear this was your last chance?”
“The man” didn’t have much of a sense of humor. Not that she’d expected him to. She stood with her arms folded in her father’s office fighting the urge to roll her eyes. It was like being a teenager, in trouble for something stupid.
She couldn't decide if it was more like getting yelled at by a parent (which hadn’t happened to her as a teenager) or getting called into the principal’s office (which hadn’t ever happened either – what teacher would dare risk their largest annual donation?). It had just been so long since he’d felt close, like a father. Unless you counted the brief windows recently where he’d appeared human. Desiree didn’t. Not right now anyway.
She let the silence hang in the air. His question didn't have an answer. Not one he’d understand. Retrospectively, she could see how her actions may reflect badly on the Storm name, on the company. But in the moment? Oh god. In the moment it had been so freeing! For once she wasn’t thinking about Logan or Jase or caught up in anyone’s drama, she was just having fun. Something she hadn’t been sure she’d even know how to do anymore.
Not that you can take actions back, but she’d do it again in heartbeat. Just to feel like that for a moment. Even if everything came crashing down in the next. Even if Rayburn finally decided the scales had tipped too far and fired her.
Besides, it wasn’t like she didn’t already have a reputation.
“Desiree, help me understand.” His tone had softened. The red was gone from his face, like the water suddenly pulled back into the ocean.
There it was, an opening. He was looking at her with eyes pleading her to give him…what? An excuse to let this slide? The truth?
But she didn’t want an opening. Not today. She wanted to feel as free and untethered as she had walking through the revolving doors that morning. As free as she had last night, talking to Blair and Noah.
“What does it matter?” she asked.
“I have a company to run, Desiree. I can’t spend all my time babysitting you.”
“Isn’t that why you made Hudson my babysitter? So you wouldn’t be bothered?”
The waves were back, filling his face with red. His brow furrowed, his face all hard lines.
“I’m taking a six month vacation,” Desiree said before he could respond to her last comment. It would be best for everyone. She wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye to Storm Enterprises, but a real break, one where no one was expecting anything of her might be what she needed. Maybe she can Blair could do some traveling or something.
“No.” There was something in his expression, something Desiree couldn’t read. His tone wasn’t exactly angry, no, it sounded…desperate? But that couldn’t be right. No, Rayburn was never desperate.
“I have the vacation days in my contract.” Desiree held his gaze.
“You’ve already used them this year. I expect you to show up, Desiree. Show up or you get nothing.”
She didn’t think that was true. She was actually pretty sure it wasn’t. But that didn’t matter. What mattered is what she stood to lose. The question most on her mind was: is it worth it?
When she didn’t respond, he dismissed her.
She decided that for now, it was.
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Post by Free on Mar 13, 2021 18:35:17 GMT -5
Brooklyn: You’re never coming back are you?
Desiree was on her way home from the hell that was today and the text caught her completely by surprise. She never expected to hear from any of them again, especially not Brooklyn. There are some words you can never take back.
This stroll through the past was the last thing she needed today.
Desiree glanced at Jacob in the driver’s seat from her usual position in the second row of her new new Tesla, but his eyes were on the road. No one had seen the expression that betrayed her. Not that Jacob would have ever said anything. To anyone, not even her. He knew better.
Desiree: Who’s this?
Brooklyn: You may have run away, but I know you didn’t delete my number, Dez.
Desiree didn’t know what to say. Brooklyn was right. She hadn’t been able to delete any of their numbers from her phone and if she didn’t work hard to ignore them, the names shredded her like broken glass. The most she’d been able to do was take them all off her favorites list. Desiree’s brow wrinkled. Maybe she hadn’t been as opaque as she’d thought. Or maybe it was all the years that stretched between them.
Brooklyn: I miss you.
I miss you too.
Tears pricked Desiree’s eyes but she willed them away. It was a text she’d never send. It was too...transparent, too vulnerable. And anyway, things were different now.
Desiree watched the cars pass out the window without seeing them. Her gaze was fixed at something invisible in the distance.
Brooklyn: I know what you did.
Desiree froze. Her heart seemed to stop. How could Brooklyn possibly know what had happened that night, at that party?
Desiree: What?
Brooklyn: Ha. Knew that’d get you to answer!
Wait. Did Brooklyn know something or what that all to get a reaction out of Desiree?
Desiree: Hilarious.
Brooklyn: I know, right? But seriously. I know you didn’t mean what you said.
Oh. Brooklyn wasn’t talking about that night at all. She was probably talking about what Desiree had said to/about Brooklyn. The thing that...that made them all leave.
The words that had cost her Logan.
In truth, it was what she’d done at the party that cost her Logan, but she would die being the only one who knew that. For him, for everyone else, it was those words.
Her heart dropped out of her chest. She still would give anything to take back that night, those words, if only doing so would change everything, would change her. The feelings swelled in her chest, rising from the shallow grave in which she’d been attempting to bury them for months.
Desiree: Yes, I did.
Brooklyn: Can we meet up?
Desiree: No.
Brooklyn: Come on, Dez. I know you miss me too, even if you’d never admit it.
She could have laughed if the whole thing wasn’t depressing as hell. Brooklyn did know her. A little too well.
Desiree: Fine, but I’m not apologizing. I meant what I said.
Brooklyn: Yes! Where? When?
Desiree: I’ll pick you up.
Desiree sent the message before she’d had time to think it through. So unlike her. Was she really that desperate to see Brooklyn? Maybe. Oh well, if all else failed, she could have Jacob drive Brooklyn home or call her a Lyft or something.
No. Not Jacob. Lyft. Whether he minded his own business or not, this wasn’t something Desiree planned to tell anyone.
Desiree sighed, realizing the worst part of what she’d just done: confirm for Brooklyn that she missed her too.
Brooklyn: Still don’t trust my car?
Desiree: Is it technically a car if the only thing holding it together is duct tape?
Brooklyn: Lol. Same ol’ Dez. 😊
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Post by Free on Mar 13, 2021 23:17:00 GMT -5
Desiree had always thought it was weird that Layla cooked. There were people for that. Cooks. Assistants. Restaurants. But for some reason, Layla like to bake cookies for her kids. Sometimes she decorated elegant cakes. She said that frosting a cake was a lot like adding details to a dress or outfit. There’s a little magic in it.
Desiree’s father had sent her a variety of specialty tutors over the years. These weren’t your Craigslist/Wyzant variety. No, for whatever their specialty, they were the best of the best.
Chefs with their own very successful restaurants taught her the basics of cooking. She learned Russian from a teacher from Russia who specialized in teaching Russian to Russians. The woman hadn’t spoken a word of English. It wasn’t until Desiree’s final lesson she realized the woman even knew English, much less was fluent in it.
But Layla had been the first one to teach Desiree anything about cooking. It was the first time Desiree had wanted to learn. It was the year after they’d met. Shortly after Desiree’s world had fallen apart.
It had been for Logan.
Desiree had wanted to make something special for him, the way Layla did. Logan could always buy anything he wanted. Anything Desiree could get for him, he could easily get for himself. But there was this special smile reserved for his mother’s cookies. Desiree wanted to be the one he smiled at.
She’d been naive then, not knowing what she couldn’t have. Standing in the LeBeau kitchen with flour up to her elbows and smeared across her face, it was one of the few times she’d really felt back then that things could be okay. That she could have some of the normal things in life. And maybe one of those things could be Logan.
It had been such a long time ago. Such a long time since Desiree had done more in the kitchen than grab a water or make popcorn. (She didn’t believe in leftovers.) Ava cooked now. And it wasn’t like there was anyone in Desiree’s life she wanted to see smile like that.
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Post by Free on Mar 16, 2021 20:42:42 GMT -5
From across the street, through the window of her Superleggera, the triplet’s apartment looked the same as it ever had. Like nothing had really changed in the eight months that had changed everything.
Desiree rolled down the window. She could see Westley standing in front of Brooklyn, looking at her really intently and shaking his head. He kissed her forehead and pulled her into a tight hug. Brooklyn returned it, then wriggled free, blew him a kiss and bounded downstairs. Brooklyn moved most of the time like she was dancing. Apparently some things wouldn’t change.
Desiree wondered if the triplets had given it up and finally gotten together. Or if maybe Brooklyn and Westley had. It was hard to tell from watching them for only a few seconds. But Westley hadn’t kissed Brooklyn on the mouth so maybe that was the same too.
Desiree zipped across the street and pulled up at the bottom of the stairwell, just as Brooklyn arrived at the bottom.
Brooklyn’s eyes lit up at the sight of Desiree’s car and something twisted in Desiree’s chest. She hadn’t wanted to miss Brooklyn this much. It was easier to pretend she’d only lost one thing that day, even if it had been the most important.
She shouldn’t have come but it was too late to leave. Or maybe not. Brooklyn wasn’t in the car yet and leaving would further reinforce the message that Desiree couldn’t be trusted. Yes, that was—
Brooklyn reached through Desiree’s window, unlocked the door and opened it before Desiree had come to a final decision on what to do. Brooklyn launched herself at Desiree and wrapped her arms tight around Desiree’s neck.
Desiree closed her eyes and breathed in Brooklyn.
Brooklyn pulled back. “Dez, you can’t fool me, remember? Hug me back! You know you want to!” She sang the last sentence.
Desiree did want to, but she hadn’t fully committed to Brooklyn yet. This whole felt like a step backward. Why had she agreed to come?
A prickly feeling made Desiree look back at the building. Someone on the second floor was watching them. James. She couldn’t make out his expression, but it was probably pissed. Nobody messes with Brooklyn and got away with it. Not with James and Westley around. Logan too, for that matter.
Desiree would never have admitted this to anyone, but as much as she sometimes pretended not to care, she’d have defended Brooklyn too. So long as nobody was around to witness. Why tip your hand when someone else would jump in anyway?
Brooklyn followed Desiree’s gaze back to her apartment.
“LOVE YOU JAMES!” Brooklyn sang out.
Desiree rolled her eyes. “Get in the car.” Her tone was neutral, same as her expression. Only when Brooklyn’s head had been buried in her shoulder, had her signature stoicism faltered.
“Where are we going?” Brooklyn’s eyes sparkled the way only hers could.
“Get in the car,” Desiree said, more aggressively this time.
Brooklyn’s smile grew as walked around the side of the car and dropped in the passenger’s seat. “Same old Dez,” she muttered to herself.
Desiree hit the accelerator the second Brooklyn’s belt clicked. Brooklyn screamed, her eyes bright.
Desiree had forgotten how loud Brooklyn was. She kept her smile just for herself and pulled into the main road.
Oh my god. Ohmygod. This was a huge mistake. Desiree could feel it all the down to her core as Brooklyn’s arm bobbed up and down in the air out the window of her Superleggera.
This was a huge step backward. This was opening the door to the past! Why hadn’t she thought this through? She thought everything through. Meticulously. No mistakes. No regrets. Except lately. Lately, her actions had been getting away from her. When did she get this sentimental?
Brooklyn was being unusually quiet and Desiree refused to make eye contact. One of the many weird things about Brooklyn was she always seemed to know the right things to do or say, or as was the case now, what not to say. Unless she was nervous or drunk or tired, then the flow of chatter was endless.
Normally, the quiet didn’t bother Desiree, but she needed a reason for meeting up with Brooklyn that didn’t invite a lot of extra questions and didn’t imply she wanted to be friends, and that required talking.
But why had she said yes? She still didn’t have an answer. Did she have anything of Brooklyn’s? No. In her scorched earth policy, she’d head everything that belonged to anyone else hand delivered to its owner.
Desiree held her breath for a moment. There was one thing. It had been a gift. Returning it would mean losing the one piece of Brooklyn Desiree still had and it would put a final nail on the coffin. Brooklyn would would leave when Desiree told her to get the hell out and leave her alone. Brooklyn would finally believe her when she said she didn’t want to be friends. And she wouldn’t call back eight months later with the hope of reconnecting. If anything could shatter what little pieces were left, this would be it.
Desiree could see the scene playing out in her head. She’d pick it up and hand it to Brooklyn and say, ever so casually, “I found this moving some things into my apartment. Thought maybe you’d want it.”
No. That wouldn’t work. Everything about Desiree’s presence here was screaming the truth: she cared. And she knew it. She could just as easily have asked Jacob to do it or even someone even less important than him. A random secretary at her dad’s office maybe, that is if any of them would still do her bidding. She wasn’t sure how far the news of her demotion had spread.
Even the phrase, “Thought you’d want it” was dripping with feelings. Ugh.
The only way giving Brooklyn back the gift (which Desiree refused to feel sentimental about just now) was if someone else did it. So why else could she have met up with Brooklyn?
The one thing she wanted to ask more than anything else was, “How’s Logan?” But she couldn’t get the words out. They stuck in her throat. She couldn’t admit she still cared, still thought about him all the time, that he was ruining her life and he wasn’t even doing anything. How is that possible?
Eyes glued to the road, Desiree considered her options. Maybe something with Jase? He was constantly hitting on anything that moved. Maybe Desiree could pretend he’d asked about Brooklyn? That Desiree was just doing her friend a favor? Was there a party tonight? It was help so much if there was a party tonight.
Desiree: Party tonight?
Jase: Always.
Desiree: Text me the address.
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Post by Free on Apr 8, 2021 23:07:27 GMT -5
“I missed you so much!” Brooklyn was smiling in that firework way only she could and for a moment, everything was beautiful.
I missed you too.
“I promised myself I wasn’t going to ask this—“ Brooklyn began.
Desiree resisted the urge to grimace. Nothing good could possibly be following that sentence and she had the feeling it was the last thing she wanted to talk about ever, much less right now.
“But why did you leave?”
Brooklyn’s gaze was intense but Desiree kept her eyes on the road and pretended not to notice. There were a hundred answers to that question, but they were all variations on the same thing.
For the briefest moment, Desiree thought about being honest. Would it be huge relief that someone finally knew what she was going through? Or would Brooklyn give her some horrified expression, agreeing with everything Desiree had ever thought about herself but never said allowed? Brooklyn was usually pretty honest, but she was also kind. She would probably only make that face internally, if she made it at all.
But if Desiree told Brooklyn anything, it would be repeated to Logan at the first available opportunity. Probably in the bathroom immediately following their arrival at this party.
Not because Brooklyn didn’t know how to keep a secret—did she know how to keep a secret? Yes, she did. To this day, Desiree did not have full understanding of the exact relationship the triplets had. But that was obviously the way Brooklyn liked it. If she’d had to guess, she couldn’t see James and Westley going too far with each other, even if they did lean on each other a lot.
But Brooklyn was on Logan’s side. She was always on Logan’s side. Though she thought she remembered Logan saying something similar about her.
Whatever. Brooklyn would tell him or Westley would. Brooklyn told her boys everything and neither of them knew how to mind their own business. The only person she knew wouldn’t say anything was James and there’s no way she’d ever tell him. They were probably alike in more ways than she cared to admit, but he was hard to figure out. The biggest things she knew for sure was that he was tear apart anyone who messed with Brooklyn and he liked his privacy. She’d seen him protect Brooklyn before, but the way both he and Westley had come after her—
Desiree shook her head. There wasn’t any point in thinking about it now. What’s done was done.
“I know you didn’t mean what you said, Dez.”
Desiree’s jaw was tight. “Yes I did.”
Brooklyn sighed in an exasperated fashion and turned away from Desiree.
“I don’t know why you can’t just be honest with me. We were friends for a long time.” Her voice was quiet.
That was a good question, but a naive one. The first and last person she’d ever have told was gone. None of it mattered anymore.
When Desiree didn’t answer, Brooklyn said, “Why am I here? I know it wasn’t anything I said.”
Desiree almost smiled. Brooklyn was could be so clever sometimes, see more than Desiree ever intended to show. But she was wrong about this. That was the real reason she’d come: she’d hadn’t been able to say no to Brooklyn, despite all the time and space that stretched between them. Despite what she’d said.
“A friend of mine won’t shut up about you,” she said. “You still like guys?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Desiree saw Brooklyn roll her eyes.
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Post by Free on May 19, 2021 22:25:21 GMT -5
Desiree had wandered off shortly after introducing Brooklyn, something about how I’d been dying to meet her. I would have laughed out loud if it wouldn’t have been rude. I had caught Brooklyn’s gaze and held it, like I was interested.
Desiree smelled amazing tonight, but when didn’t she? Since I usually ditch her at some point to find a girl, I wasn’t that put off when she left. And it even looked like she’d done the hard work for me by picking someone out for me. But something was off. She’d never set me up before. That was my job. And with…Brooklyn, of all people.
I smile in my usual charming way and lead Brooklyn to the bar. Whatever this is, I’m not about to call Desiree out. I ask Brooklyn about herself, while leaning in just enough to look interested. It isn’t hard. Brooklyn is beautiful. She's petite and has shiny, curly hair. There is something effortless and light about her that's attractive too. There’s always a but though, whenever I look at these girls, all of them. They aren’t her.
“Maybe you could design an outfit for me.” I don’t even know what I’m saying. I hope she does. I wink her at her and ask if I can order her something.
Then Brooklyn shocks me by saying something so completely insane I don’t have an immediate answer, which is unusual for me.
“Does she know you like her?” Her smile is bright, kind. She is probably the opposite of Desiree in so many ways I can’t count them.
“What?” I know, but like I said, I'm speechless. At least I kept my expression in its usual easy smile.
“Does she know you like her?” she says, louder this time.
Her repeating it, like I hadn’t heard her the first time isn't helping me figure out what to say.
“Come on, it’s so obvious!”
Is it? I’d barely looked at Desiree. I had been very intent on making Brooklyn my focus since Desiree had said I’d asked her to bring Brooklyn.
“Then why would I have asked her to bring you?” I ask, leaning toward her with what experience had proven is irresistible charm.
“I’ll take that as a no,” she says.
Confident. Intelligent. That’s sexy as hell. Things I appreciate about Desiree, actually.
“Why are we talking about Desiree, when we could be dancing?” I flash her one of my signature smiles that makes girls melt. She doesn’t melt, just looks up at me like she’s trying to decide something before leading the way to the dance floor.
I grab her hand and pull her toward me, then spin her around and let go. My face is smiling, but inside I’m battling two very strong, but diametrically opposed impulses. I can do what I always do with girls at parties, my favorite way to spend an evening, morning, lunch hour... But this is one of Desiree’s friends. Or sort of friends? Flirting with Blair was one thing, sleeping with Brooklyn is something else. I don’t know if I can recover from that. Ever.
But I want to. Brooklyn is beautiful and sexy and she’s here. Though, I’m getting the distinct impression Desiree is working some kind of angle in bringing her here. Is this some kind of bizarre test? Desiree plays a lot of games, but I don’t think that’s her motivation. I don’t think she cares how I spend my time. Or who with. At least, I didn’t until she reacted so weird when I was hanging out with Jamie at the beach. Maybe she does care...
I sigh. Internally. Why can’t I just enjoy the party? I love parties. The people. The music. The drinks. In that order. Then I can’t help laughing because Desiree’s order is probably the opposite of that.
But anyway, this isn’t fun for me, trying to figure all this stuff out. I don’t like thinking. It ruins the mood. Honestly, I think everything was easier when she was Logan’s and out of reach and I didn’t have to worry about where I stood with her. Now, I have no idea. I don’t even know if I want anything from her.
I mean yes, I do, obviously, I’m just not convinced it’s what best for both of us. I don’t think she knows what she wants, or maybe worse, it hasn’t been long enough and she still wants him.
Desiree has always been a big obstacle between me and Desiree, but she isn't the only one. If I’m being honest, she probably isn’t even the biggest one.
Knowing she was at Cristo’s...that was hell. I could never forgive myself if something happened to her because of my job. I love my job. I don’t see that changing. What would make this—
“Are you okay?” Brooklyn is looking up at me and I realize I’ve stopped moving.
“No.” I’m not usually that honest in situations like this, but I just don’t care what anyone thinks right now. Especially not some girl I just met and will probably never see again unless it turns out she and Desiree are friends again. But...I don’t know. Maybe not even then. Something was definitely bothering her when I met Blair.
Brooklyn grabs my hand and drags me down the hall. This is when I decide I absolutely need her. Now. That will definitely bring me out of this funk. I follow her, shortening my stride to keep pace with her. I’ve got my sexiest smile on as I squeeze her hand and she glances back at me.
But she doesn’t take me to a bedroom. No, she takes me outside and sits down on the edge of one of those pool loungers and I get the impression she expects me to sit next to her. I guess outside is kind of romantic? I mean there are stars out here, but I’m not an exhibitionist. I’m all about PDA, but I prefer privacy for private things.
I sit down next to her. I put my arm around her and lean in to kiss her, but she pushes me back with one hand.
“You badly misread the situation,” she tells me. She’s smiling. She’s like me in that way. She’s not embarrassed; she thinks it’s it’s funny. It is. Sort of. If you’re someone else.
She’s wrong though. I wasn’t reading her or even paying attention to her at all and that’s probably my problem. This is not how I get girls at parties. I get girls at parties by being charming and actually listening to what they have to say and not zoning out on the dance floor.
I can’t even pretend to be embarrassed. It’s not my style.
I find myself speechless again and I’m so frustrated, I want to pick up this lounger and throw it into the pool. Luckily, I have a lot of practice in pretending things are fine when they’re not. In pretending to be happy when I’m not. Or in pretending not to be whatever this is.
I just don’t want to pretend right now. I’m tired of pretending. God. When did life get so serious?
“Kissing is more fun than talking,” I say after what I hope isn’t too long a silence. The smile on my lips is real because I’m picturing my fingers in her hair, the taste of her lips.
“Maybe you’re not doing it right.”
My mouth drops open. I can’t help myself, “Maybe you’re not doing it right.” I laugh.
She laughs. It’s beautiful. Like music. It’s intoxicating.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” The intense look on her face, the way she’s leaning toward me, it’s almost like she’s flirting. A guy can hope.
I bring my face within inches of hers. Like a dare.
“Yes,” I whisper.
And then she laughs at me, sitting back a little straighter. Girls are normally very easy for me to figure out. Not this one. Maybe this is not a test. Maybe this is Desiree’s idea of a joke.
“You don’t think I’m sexy?” I pout at her, pretending to be offended.
She laughs again.
“I’ll kiss you if you tell me what’s wrong.”
Oh god. No. This is the wrong girl. I feel like I’ve been tricked.
“Or, we could skip to the good part,” I say leaning in so close to her face I can feel the warmth of her breath.
I do not tell people my problems. Ever. Most of my problems involve a lot of secrets. I rarely have problems I can share, much less the desire. It’s not that I don’t trust people the way Desiree doesn’t trust people. It’s that it’s a lot safer for them and for me if I keep my distance. And who wants to sit around whining all day anyway?
Plus, I’ve never been a fan of heavy relationships. That’s how they feel: they weigh you down. When you know too much about someone or they know too much about you. When too much history stretches between you. People don’t forget things. They can’t.
I prefer to fly free. Untethered.
She rolls her eyes.
“That’s really all you want?” Her tone is incredulous.
“Yes,” I think I’m purring, but I could just as easily be glaring at her. I’ve lost all interest in this conversation. Why did Desiree bring her here? As a way to torture me? Desiree is one of the most private people I know how did she stand this?
Brooklyn sighs, then leans against me. Her head rests against my collarbone. It’s warm. She lets me put my arm around her. I pull her tight against me.
And then I do something I promised myself I would never do because it’s disrespectful and doesn’t change anything, and pretend, just for the briefest moment, that she’s Desiree.
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Post by Free on May 20, 2021 0:08:28 GMT -5
“Desiree said you were fun,” my tone is mocking, but conspiratorial. I wink at her.
You can hear the music faintly out here, especially the bass. The night is clear, a beautiful night for strolling, wrapped up in someone.
“Desiree said you were fun too,” Brooklyn replies.
I laugh, shaking my head. “She did not.”
“Okay. You got me.” Brooklyn shrugs, her sparkling eyes cast heaven-ward. “She said you’d be a challenge.”
“That, I believe.”
“That was a lie too.” Brooklyn’s laugh is adorable.
“I don’t care. I like it.” I stretch, dropping my arm from her waist to lie across her lap. “I’m worth it though.” I smile up at her, admiring the view. “Why did you come to this party? I don’t think Desiree’s much of a salesperson.”
“She’s not.” Brooklyn laughs again. “I wanted to see her. I’ve missed her so much! It’s been really hard…nothing is the same…” She looks around for a moment. “Though I guess I’m not really getting much time with her out here with you.”
She doesn't make it sound like a bad thing though. I don't care either way.
I'm conflicted. I can see now what Desiree sees in her. Brooklyn is easy to talk to. Though I still don't know why Desiree pawned her off on me…unless…unless Desiree misses her too…and just can't admit it. Not to Brooklyn, probably not even to me, though she had to know I’d ask.
She’d kill me if I said this out loud. Oh, but I want to! It's the kind of thing Brooklyn should know, but it isn't my place.
Brooklyn must have caught the light in my eyes because she asks, “What?”
“You’re gorgeous,” I says, looking deep into her eyes.
She shoves my shoulder. “I’ll bet that works, doesn’t it?”
“You finding it hard to resist me?” I lift my eyebrows at her.
She just laughs. “I’m never second place, Jase.”
“I bet not.”
By the time Brooklyn is ready to find Desire, Desiree has disappeared.
“Do you want to keep enjoying the party or do you need a ride home?” I ask. I'm conflicted again. Nobody knows about my feelings for Desiree, except this stranger and it's kind of…freeing. In a way I’d thought impossible. Part of me wants to keep her around for a while longer.
Another part of me wants to find someone to distract me since it's obvious by this point I'm going to get anywhere with Brooklyn and I honestly don't want to. She's Desiree’s friend and that had won the battle at some point when I wasn’t paying attention. Flirting is never off the table though.
“I was really hoping to see Desiree.” Brooklyn’s lips turn down in an adorable pout.
“Come on.” I grab her hand and start for the door. “I think I know where she went.”
Brooklyn stops walking and shakes her head. “No.”
“What?” The music is loud and I'm not sure I heard her right. I pull her into the entryway where it's quieter and I can be sure.
“If she wanted me to know where she was, Jase, she’d have told me.” She didn’t say, “You should know that,” but it is heavily implied in her tone.
I do know that, but I most of the time, I ignore Desiree’s games, part of me hoping she’d figure this out if I gave her enough time.
“I’ll blind fold you,” I say dryly, but I don't mean it.
“No,” she says firmly. “I want her to want to see me.”
I think she does. I had a lot of respect for Brooklyn in that moment.
“Then, let me take you somewhere else.” I hold my hand out to her and she takes it.
~
I never bring girls to my apartment, but I made an exception for Brooklyn. I lead her out on the balcony, and she gasps.
“It’s beautiful!”
My apartment is on the highest floor in the building. This place isn't fancy enough to have a penthouse or a doorman and that suits me. I don't need anyone watching me come and go. It isn't as tall as Desiree's building either, which I prefer. The view is spectacular. It overlooks downtown, so you've get to see all the buildings rise up to touch the skyline and all the trees they planted to try and convince us we are not in fact in the middle of a city. You can see the park too. It's one of my favorite places.
Yes, it had occurred to me that this view could help seal the deal with women, but that didn’t change my resolve not to give out my address. To anyone. No one knows I lived here, except Desiree and now Brooklyn. I technically don't even own the apartment. It leaves too much of a paper trail.
I pour us drinks and set them down on the small table. I let Brooklyn have the chair. It hadn’t occurred to me to have two.
“Westley wasn’t happy I came out here tonight,” Brooklyn says, thoughtfully.
“No?” Desiree hadn’t told me exactly what had happened, but knowing her, it had been spectacular.
“James tried to keep me from leaving. He didn’t think there could be any excuse for her behavior.” She laughs softly and shakes her head. “Westley would never do that, but he wasn’t happy either. He tried to talk me out of it, more than once. He said Desiree only cares about herself. But I don’t think that’s true. I think…I think life has just been really hard for her and…” She cut herself off. “And she’s not handled very well.”
I can't tell if she's struggling to find the words because she doesn't know how to phrase it or if she doesn't know how much she should say. I want to hear everything she knows about Desiree, but the only way for me to do that is if Brooklyn thinks I already know everything. Then she can't betray Desiree.
I’d like to think I do know everything about Desiree, but part of pretending not to care involved disappearing for months or years at time. It wasn’t like I wanted to watch her fall in love with another man, watch her look at him the way I’d always wanted her to look at me.
And anyway, I’d never betray Desiree either, so that leaves us at an impasse.
“I don’t think they see her the way do. Or maybe it’s more that they’ve given up on her. I don’t know.” She sighs. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only one who hadn’t.”
“What about Logan?” I keep the intensity of my interest out of my voice. This is where my job comes in handy.
She hesitates. Not a good sign.
“You’re very good at that,” she said instead.
“At what?”
“Pretending not to care.”
Her statement takes me by surprise, but I just laugh.
"It didn't seem to fool you," I say.
"That's only because I know you like her."
Thank you. I've had decades of practice.
“It comes in handy with my job,” I say, half surprised at my own honesty. Brooklyn is something else. She's so easy to talk to, I bet she usually gets what she wants.
“What do you do?” She leans forward and takes my hand.
I laugh. “Desiree never told you?”
She shakes her head. My smile widens.
“Then I guess you’ll never know.”
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Post by Free on May 28, 2021 0:39:47 GMT -5
I wince and move one of my legs off to the side so my weight doesn't press that knee into the concrete of my balcony.
“Let’s go somewhere we can both sit down,” I say, reaching for her hand to help her out of her chair. Desiree almost never lets me help her, but Brooklyn does. She weighs almost nothing. I push her chair back out, where it’d be for me, if I was sitting there and grab our empty glasses from the iron table.
I make both of us another another drink and set them on the coffee table. Then I drop into my favorite spot on the couch. I put my arm along the backrest and set one of my feet across my knee. I close my eyes for a moment.
I love this place.
I open my eyes as Brooklyn crawls onto the couch next to me and try not to laugh as she puts her head in my lap. That’s my first choice too.
“Tell me how you met Desiree.” If there was one thing I can never get enough of, it's stories about Desiree. I prefer ones that don't include Logan, but you can’t have everything.
“Logan introduced us,” she says.
Of course he did.
“He invited me to a party. I brought Westley and James. And…I don’t know. He and I went up to the top floor of his house. There’s a patio on the roof. It overlooks their gardens. –His parent’s gardens. I thought for sure he was going to…try something. But he didn’t. We just sat up there and talked for a while, then we went back to the party.” She shrugs. “I could feel something then. Like maybe we could be really good friends.”
I'm at a loss for words again. I clenched my jaw. This time, I know I should ask her something about it, like maybe what they talked about or how she knew they could be good friends, but I really, really, really do not want to talk about Logan. And for the first time in over a decade, I don't have to pretend.
"Oh! Sorry. I forgot the part about Desiree. Anyway, Desiree came up to the roof patio about about a half an hour later." Her eyes light up as she says, "I think she followed us because she was jealous. I think she loved him long before she could ever admit that to herself."
My teeth grate. I really don't know what to say to that. It isn't news to me that Desiree was in love with Logan for years, regardless of what she said. It wasn't like I couldn't see the way she looked at him, how her voice got softer when she talked to him.
“I’m sorry,” she says.
I look down at her and laugh bitterly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you could read minds.”
“Maybe I can.” She winks at me, laughing.
I laugh again and shake my head. "Brooklyn, you are something else."
"That's what they tell me."
We have a lot in common, more than I would have thought.
“How did you meet Desiree?” she aks.
I had been expecting this. I started it when I’d asked her the same question. Never ask questions you don’t want to answer. I sigh and debate whether or not I wanted to tell her. Looking into her green eyes, I don't see how this information could hurt me anymore than it already has.
And this is so nice. Talking, like we're friends. You know, minus the whole Logan thing. I could have done without that part.
“That’s a story for another time.”
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Post by Free on May 28, 2021 1:02:53 GMT -5
”You’re home late.”
Desiree looked up to see Jase lounging on her couch. It was after 2 am. She hadn’t been able to relax at home, knowing Jase was with Brooklyn. She didn’t know why it bothered her. It shouldn’t bother her. She didn’t own him or anything.
She wished she’d found another way. That’s why she’d left the second he’d walked Brooklyn over to the bar. That wasn’t something she wanted to watch. It was going to be someone, and by some error in judgment, she’d made sure it was Brooklyn.
Pacing her apartment hadn’t helped, so she’d ended up at Centurion, where she’d found someone who was interesting enough to make her forget about Jase or Logan or Brooklyn or anyone for…a while. Unlike the weak girls you seen on TV, when he’d asked for her number, she didn’t give him a fake number. She’d flat out told him hell no.
Jase had a huge smile on his face and she tried to pretend she didn’t know why. Jase was always smiling. It could be anything. Except that it probably wasn’t this time.
“Why do you always pretend like you’re not happy to see me?” Jase jumped over the back of the couch and moved toward her. There must have been something on her face, something she didn’t have the energy to hide because he said, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.” His lips twitched into a smug smile.
“Why do you have to make things so hard?” There was a hard edge in Desiree’s voice. “I don’t need a babysitter. I don’t need you checking up on me. I don’t—“
Desiree stopped mid-sentence when Jase slid his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He smelled so good. Like shampoo and axe body spray and something uniquely Jase.
The fire burning in her chest died down. She couldn’t summon the anger to push him away. This was how Logan won arguments. She found it absolutely impossible to be angry when he held her.
“Why are you here?” Her tone was aggressive. She wanted him to leave, not shatter the moment of peace she’d managed to find tonight. Coming home, back down off that high, had broken it enough. Of course, there was no putting it back together now, even if he left.
“Get off me,” she growled.
He pressed his forehead against hers.
“I didn’t sleep with her, Dez,” he said, quietly.
Weight lifted off her for a moment, but Desiree was not that easily convinced.
“Right.” She leaned back, away from him. “Like I care.”
He rolled his eyes.
“We went looking for you,” he said.
Desiree didn’t dare breathe.
“She really misses you. And I didn’t tell her this, but I know you miss her too and you should really tell her that.”
Desiree pushed away from Jase and he let her go. Part of her regretted the decision the second his fingertips left her arm, but she squashed that part.
“That’s none of your business,” she growled.
“I know.” He sighed. “Anyway, we went looking for you. I offered to bring her here. I figured that’s where you went–“
“If I’d wanted her to know my address–”
He held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t worry. She wouldn’t come with me. She wanted you to come to her on your own terms.”
The muscles in Desiree’s arms relaxed a little. A triumphant smile on Jase’s lips said he’d noticed that.
“Then, I took her back to my place and–”
“Have I ever asked for details–”
“¬–We talked. I drove her home two hours ago.” Jase crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows at her. His arrogant smile was infuriating.
He reached out to her and pulled her back to him and Desiree let him. She wasn’t sure why. None of this changed anything. Why had she cared so much? It all seemed stupid all of a sudden.
He pressed his forehead to hers again and she closed her eyes. For just a moment, she let everything just be.
A second later, she decided that was a mistake. She pulled away from him and made her way into the kitchen. Since her only reason for walking into the kitchen was to get away from Jase, she didn’t know what to do when she got there.
Jase pushed himself back onto the counter and watched her. She needed to do something, anything. Or did she? This was her house. If she wanted to walk into the kitchen and admire the cabinets, that was her right.
“You want me to make you a strawberry fields?” he asked.
She shook her head.
He was looking at her with an expression she had come to learn meant he was trying very hard not to say something he desperately wanted to say.
“What?” she asked.
“No, you won’t like it,” he said. “And anyway, I got what I came for.” He shoved off the counter. He pulled her into a hug.
“When has that ever stopped you?”
He laughed. “Good night, Desiree,” he whispered in her ear.
She gasped softly and he smiled. He raised his eyebrows at her and then headed out the door. She was still staring at it, long after it had clicked shut.
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Post by Free on May 31, 2021 1:18:16 GMT -5
He didn’t deserve that.
Jase hadn’t deserved any of the things she’d said lately. But that was the point, right? If she was abrasive enough, he’d come to the conclusion he needed now, instead of past the point of no return, the way Logan had.
She glared out the back window of her Tesla at the shops racing by.
Everything was still so raw, even after all this time. She still cried herself to sleep more nights than she’d ever admit. Hell, admitting that it was ever was out of the question.
Would it make her feel better, to have someone there? A stand-in for the thing she could never have? Maybe. But that could never be Jase. She cared too much. The whole point of an arrangement like that was not caring. She also wasn’t sure she could survive another look like the one Logan had given her before she’d turned away from him and walk away forever.
This whole thing with Jase was getting out of hand. Maybe that stand-in could serve a dual purpose.
~
Desiree took another sip of wine and resisted the urge to glance at the door. Lucas sat at a table nearby, pretending to read.
“Waiting for me?”
Desiree looked up to see Jase sliding into the seat across from her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I was in the neighborhood.”
“You were in the neighborhood of the restaurant where I happen to be meeting a date that I never told you about?”
“See, my intell was bad. I was told you were meeting your dad. Thought I’d be a nice buffer.” He winked at her.
“Not buying it. Why are you here?”
“I’m not allowed to say hi?”
Before Desiree could answer, another guy walked up to the table.
“Sorry, I was told this was Desiree’s table...I’ll have to-“
“Oh it is!” Jase smiled on of his dazzling smiles and patted the seat next to him. “We’ve been waiting for you!”
Desiree watched as Lucas’s gazed shifted back and forth between them.
Lucas swallowed. “I…uh…thought this was a date. Did I misread something?”
“No, handsome. This most definitely is a date.” Jase winked at Lucas.
Desiree kicked Jase under the table. Hard. But he just smiled back at her with the most innocent eyes.
“Jase is just kid—“ Desiree said.
“I don’t know what I said that you the impression I’d be into…whatever this is.” Lucas shuddered. “But I was only interested in dating you.” Lucas swallowed hard again. “Umm…good luck though!” He turned and walked back toward the entrance.
“He’s cute!” Jase was still smiling. It was infuriating.
“Wait! Lucas!” Desiree called after him, but he either didn’t hear her or pretended not to hear her as he made a beeline for the exit. She wasn’t about to chase some guy she didn’t know out the door.
“Thanks so much!” Desiree glared at Jase.
“Any time!” Jase beamed. “So do you think our waiter is coming back soon? Because I hear the mushroom ravioli is to die for.”
~
Desiree leaned her head on Carter’s shoulder as the movie played. He wrapped an arm around her and she tried not to cringe it off. She didn’t want him here. Not in her apartment, not on her couch. Not even in her secure apartment building, where everyone needed a reason to be here.
It wasn’t even his fault. She like the way his arm felt. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was even attractive. It was just all the emotional sh*t attached to this moment she had a problem with.
Her front door opened. She pretend to be too absorbed in the movie, in Carter, to notice. She leaned over to kiss his cheek, but he turned and brought his lips to hers. He was good at other stuff too.
“What are we watching?” Jase flung himself the couch, all of his usual air about him. The smile on his face even looked real.
Had she been imagining everything? Maybe all of this was unnecessary. At least from Jase’s perspective. She still thought it would help to have someone, a little more permanently, as a distraction.
Why had he come over the other night then to make sure she knew he hadn’t done anything with Brooklyn? Why did he think she’d care?
“Who are you?” Carter’s voice held an edge as he took in the guy who looked way too comfortable here in her apartment.
“I’m Jase.” Jase’s smile was huge as he reached over to shake Carter’s hand.
Cartner looked from Jase to Desiree. Slowly, he reached his hand out to shake Jase’s.
“Desiree, who is this?” Cartner whispered to Desiree.
“Aw! You didn’t him about me?” Jase feigned a hurt expression.
“I don’t do three ways with other dudes,” Cartner said whispered even more quietly.
Jase laughed loudly. Apparently, he’d heard that. He scooted over and put his hand on Carter’s knee.
“But I’ve been looking forward to this.” Jase held Carter’s gaze. “Desiree’s told me all about you.”
Desiree grabbed Jase’s hand off Carter before things could get too out of hand.
“Get lost, Jase. I’m busy,” she said.
Carter stared at Desiree. “Look, I don’t need anything complicated.” He started to get up, but Desiree wrapped her arm around his waist.
“It’s not complicated. My friend, Jase was just leaving.” She glared at Jase.
Jase looked like he was about to explode, his smile was so big.
“As you wish,” Jase said, vaulting back over the couch. “I’ll see you later.” He kissed the top of her head and danced toward the door.
“You will not!” she yelled after him.
She’d been so sure Jase was developing feelings for her. How could she have gotten it so wrong?
Carter was still looking at her when the door clicked shut.
“Jase is just a friend. He likes to drop by unannounced and uninvited.” Desiree added an edge to her voice that she hoped would sway things in her favor.
“I don’t do drama, Desiree. What is going on?” Carter crossed his arms.
“I’m using you for your body. What difference does it make?”
Carter laughed. “That I’m good with.”
“Great, so we’re on the same page. Can we keep watching the movie?”
Desiree leaned to put her head back on his shoulder, but put his fist under her chin so she’d look at him. He brought his face within an inch of hers. His breath was hot and smelled of whiskey.
“I was thinking of something else.” He winked at her. “Where’s the bedroom in this place?”
Something in Desiree’s chest squeezed. She glanced briefly in the direction of her bedroom, then grabbed Carter’s hand. She led him down the hall toward her guest rooms. However long this lasted, she didn’t want memories of him in her room.
~
For the next couple weeks, whenever Jase randomly dropped by her apartment, Carter was there. At a certain point, she realized he wasn’t taking the hint. Perhaps she’d been too subtle.
“Jase, can I speak to you outside?” she asked.
“Of course, Love.”
Carter rolled his eyes, but Jase’s smile hadn’t faltered even once. What went through his head?
Desiree closed the doors to her balcony and turned on Jase.
“You need to stop.” The acid in her voice was so tangible it almost burned her throat.
“What’s wrong? Do you need a hug?” Jase moved toward her, but she put her hand out.
“No Jase, I need space. Can’t you see I’m trying to move on?”
His smile faltered. “Is that what you’re doing?”
Direct hit. How to drive this home? She swallowed hard. Why was she stalling? Her throat burned.
“You need to leave me alone.”
“Fine. Whatever. I’ll go.”
“I mean it, Jase. Don’t come back.”
“You can’t mean that.” He frowned and took a step toward her.
“Actually, I do.” She gritted her teeth, willing herself to say the next part. “Why are you even pretending to care? You don’t take anything seriously!”
“You’re wrong about that,” he growled softly.
“I cannot keep having the same…I don’t even know what to call it—with you anymore. Stop dropping by.”
He opened his mouth a little, took a breath and closed it, swallowing whatever he’d been about to say.
“Nobody is ever going to take you seriously, either.”
The look that flashed through his eyes was gone so fast she could almost pretend she’d imagined it.
“This is what you did to Logan, isn’t it?” he asked.
Why didn’t he look mad? Hurt? Furious? Something? Maybe she hadn’t hit hard enough.
“I’m not going to give up as easily as he did because I know something he didn’t: this isn’t what you really want.” Jase said, putting a hand on both of her arms.
“You have no idea what I want.” Desiree moved her arms in an aggressive motion, forcing him to let go.
“Maybe not. But I know what you don’t want: to lose me. That’s why you’re pushing me away.”
Desiree laugh. It came out wrong. Harsh. Dead.
“Your logic is fool-proof,” she said.
“You didn’t deny it. Just say it. You like having me around. Why is that so hard?”
Why was he still smiling?
“That’s ridiculous. I don’t need anyone.” She crossed her arms.
“That’s one of the things I love about you. But not technically accurate. Everyone needs someone.” He winked at her.
“I don’t need you.”
“Of course you don’t.” He laughed.
Desiree sighed. This wasn’t working. He wasn’t getting it. She had to go all in. She braced herself. It couldn’t possible hurt as much this time.
“Come on, Jase,” she said, forcing a cruel smile to her lips. “Deep down, you’ll always be the little boy whose family was too poor to afford meal tickets for the lunch line. What did you think was going to happen here? Carter is—”
“No. You’ve made your point. Sorry I interrupted your evening.”
"Maybe if your mom had been able to hold down a job instead of––"
Jase held up his hand. His other hand was clenched into a fist. "Desiree stop."
“You know I only said all that stuff back then because I felt sorry for you, not because I didn’t agree with them.”
He brushed the sleeve of her shirt as he pushed past her.
“Oh, and you don’t have to worry about me dropping by anymore,” he said, one hand on the door, before disappearing.
Success. So much for him not giving up. She would’ve laughed out loud if it didn’t hurt like hell.
Desiree’s kept her eyes on the skyline, staring blankly out into nothing. All she could see was the hardened look his face when she’d said... All she could feel was the warmth that usually surrounded him evaporating. And she knew this was it. Decades of friendship? Whatever it was, it was over now.
She swallowed back all the emotions she’d been keeping to herself and marched back inside. She slammed the balcony door as she stepped back inside.
Her fingers balled into fists and swallowed again. She’d done what needed to be done. She’d protected him. From her. Maybe he’d figure that out one day, maybe he wouldn’t. Either way, he wouldn’t be wasting his time and wouldn’t break his heart the way she had Logan’s.
She leaned back against the balcony door and sank to the floor.
"Hey are you okay?" Carter moved toward Desiree. He reached down to help her up, but she waved him off.
"Yes," she growled.
"Do you...wanna...talk about it?" Was he cringing? It didn't matter.
"No," she said.
She grabbed his hand and dragged him off in the direction of her guest rooms, pausing to grab the bottle of whiskey on her way through the living room.
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